Reflection of 2018
Reflection of 2018 and Planning for 2019
The last half of 2018 I have slowly begun to rely on my own strength. This is a common mistake of mine that I start to seek God as a backup plan instead of the action plan. I have let worry and anxiety drive a wedge between my trust and reliance on God. Even in choosing my “word” for the year initially, I was motivated by my own motives or at least I thought I was until prayer. Through prayer and scripture, I uncovered my truth for this year and intention for 2019.
My gaze has turned from 2017 focused on the things above and not of this earth. In 2017, my word was “Focus and Legacy,” and my Verse was Colossians 3:2. 2017 was a phenomenal year. I was amazed at what I achieved. Honestly, I can say, that I focused on God that year and achieved greatness through Him. Focusing on God and not the girl next to me allowed me to get things done that year.
Then in 2018, almost as a challenge, I believe. I was led to”Gratitude” for my word. As anticipated there were many circumstances in 2018 where I could have said, “Why God?’ and chose “I am grateful, Lord.” It took intention, but it was a pruning experience. There were a few setbacks, humbling moments and many opportunities to give up but being grateful for what I had for the moment allowed me to persevere.
This year I felt like I fell from grace. It wasn’t intentional, but it has been made clear in my reflection and the way I felt the last half of the year. I had let my need for achievement, success, and accolades over my need for the Truth and the Light. There were brief periods of anxiety, depression, and loneliness especially at the beginning of the year when I was homebound with my ankle injury.
I felt like the things that I have worked so hard for began to crumble under my own strength. There were lots of setbacks in my life personally. I think the most significant blow was my husband tearing his Achilles at the peak of his busy training season. We have had several roadblocks this year. We have had to pull back on some things. Change the way we lived for a while because of finances.
Despite my despair, I knew God was with me the entire time. He had never left me but allowed me my own free will to seek Him in all things. If it weren’t for my desire to serve and be with God, I would never come to this realization. I also probably would have given in to the doubt like in the past.
Instead, I chose to trust in hope and wait in faith. It was also my reminder to be grateful even for a little bit which humbled our family this year.
Bringing it back to Prayer
I preach to honor your temple, but that can only be done and begin with prayer. When I act first without prayer I always make a mess of things. So, here I am planning another year an in bright, bold neon letters- (God knows that’s the best way to get my attention). He has led me to a new beginning and time to learn from the previous year and set a new intention as I work to the next year.
My “Word(s)” for this year.
I founded FaithFueled™ Mom on the foundation of my intent to Glorify God. Only through Him will it build community and grow but only if I connect with Him.
My three words for this year are “Community, Connection and Growth” initially my sinful nature defined them as,
CONNECTION with others who are on a similar mission to grow MY business.
Build a COMMUNITY of women who glorify God through honoring their temple. (Aka. FaithFueled™ mission statement)
GROWTH in all areas of life, finances, relationships, and business.
When God gives you a wake-up Smack
Then (yes afterward) I looked to Scripture to support MY intentions (not God). Then as if I was smacked in the face
“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
That is not what I intended, but without God, my sinful nature took over my second nature. After spending time in the Word. I was set on a better path and given an opportunity to begin the year in the way of my heart’s desire.
My “Word (s)” Redefined
CONNECTION will be through Christ. He will lead me to the people to carry out His plan and not my own.
James 4:8 “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
COMMUNITY will continue to be my mission to grow a community of women who are glorifying God through honoring their temple.
“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
GROWTH spiritually that will trickle into all aspects of my life.
“Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” 2 Peter 3:17-18
My Word for 2019
I really want to keep it simple this year, so I am going to group these three under CHOSEN. Totally off my initial thought of my word(s) or is it?
One thing that I have felt this year is unqualified and unworthy. I think its time to realize that I am worthy and completely qualified. Only through God because He chose me to live this life.
“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will to praise the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:3-6
I have been chosen and this year I want to accept it. I want to connect with the God who chose me, build a community and share with other chosen women and grow and feel qualified through Him and not others opinions.
No longer living in doubt and question of my purpose. I want to walk in my life knowing that I was handpicked by God to bring Him glory.
My Faith fuels me
My intent is not to come across as a Saint because I am not a Saint. I am a Child of God who was chosen in love to bring glory to His kingdom. I enjoy it; it brings me passion and drive to do what I do and help other people. When I lose sight of Him, I lose my way, and that’s when I feel anxiety, worry, depression and not my best self. So, I have to remember what I learned a few years ago and what got me so far. I need to
“Set my mind on the things above and not the things of this world.” Col 3:2
He will give me the clarity to fuel my journey as He has in the past and will do it again an again. Open the doors of opportunity and make the path straight. Whenever in whatever capacity I need.
Instead of “living my best life” I plan on “living the chosen life.”
It may mean a different course of action this year but I know that with God it ultimately, be in my favor, It always is when I seek and trust in Him.
My anticipation for 2019
When it is all said and done even if I don’t make it to a New Year. I want to live every day of 2019 connecting with God and seeking His purpose. Growing my faith and being in a community that is adding women to His kingdom. Living as if I was already chosen by Him to live a life of purpose. What do you think too lofty? You’ll just have to stay tuned and see how He manifest His goodness this year.
” For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Peter 1:5-8
If you feel lost in your way seek God for guidance. He will give you direction and peace on your path. Praying you to have a Happy Healthy New Year.
What did you learn in 2018 that you are going to use in 2019? What is your word?