When was the last time you admired yourself in the mirror? When have you showed your self love? Gazed in the mirror and saw God’s beautiful creation. I find that we use the mirror incorrectly. Instead of finding why we are special we are critiquing why we don’t live up to some fictionalized standard. It is so easy to get overly critical of our appearance, character, actions, and habits; Especially when we are not meeting our expectations of what we should.
My Mirror Avoidance
Throughout my weight loss journey, my vanity and worldly views would steal my joy. Looking back now that I am mental, spiritually and physically happy I realize this is a big problem for lots of people. Hindsight is always crystal clear. I would consider myself pretty confident, but I let the enemies whispers of self-hate and conditional love ring in my ear. Believing these lies just didn’t feel right.
Psalms 139:14, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
Has this always been?
I am the oldest of six children in a blended family; four girls and two boys. My mother was a great example of loving who you are for what you are. I always remember her encouraging us to love ourselves. Physically I have always been thin, physically active, overachiever who did not shy away from anything.
When I got pregnant with my first daughter, I gained 95 pounds; who knew eating for two was just an expression? (Not I) It took me a while, but I lost the weight and got back to myself. Then, I had my second daughter elated and educated I tried not to make the same mistakes. Eighty-five pounds later I got back on that horse again and worked off the weight. Next, was baby girl number 3; I was determined to gain the recommended weight, walked, ate right and I did a little better only a measly 75 pounds.
This time around getting back on that horse has not been a smooth ride. When I reached a year postpartum, I was still carrying that baby (weight), still exercising, eating right but to no results. So, like most overachievers for the and last year I have been working harder and beating myself up for only losing 5 pounds or whatever number.
1 Thessalonian 1:1 To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power
Going back to bad habits
Then, I did the obvious but sometimes second nature to me. I have the bad habit of thinking I can solve problems on my own. I prayed about it; it’s funny how I know I have no control yet, I still think I have some control. After praying daily for God’s guidance and strength, he answered almost immediately and led me to people who could help me, Scriptures that could encourage me, and a devotional that could guide me. Just add the personal trainer to the list of the alpha and omega. It took me six months till I felt myself coming back.
Psalm 30:1-2 I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.2 Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.
Proverbs 16:3 (NIV) “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
Getting over self made hangups
I think my biggest issue I have and am constantly needed reminders and refocus is asking God for help in everything. Remembering how much He loves me for who I am right now today and not who I will be in the future. He doesn’t stop loving me because of what I did in the past, what I look like today. Even the small insignificant things that I feel wouldn’t matter to Him I must come to Him. If they matter to me, they matter to Him, and I should seek Him in all things. Once I got over my insecurities, relied on God’s strength and had faith in His sovereignty; my life became better, my mind got better, my insecurities dissipate, and I now can shine His light to others who felt as I once did. I now want to invite the love of Jesus to others and share the gift of self-love that He has given me.
What do you see in your mirror’s reflection? How can God help you know what you are looking?